Samantha Lynn Carson was a transplant, growing up in Devil’s Lake North Dakota, she was a country girl, never meant for the country. She loved the plains, watching the sunrise, lighting up the landscape in colors no artist could capture, that no chemist could ever hope to recreate. First, shades of grays would begin to lighten the world, then hues of blues would push back the gray finally turning to the fiery oranges and reds that made her heart beat quicken with the marvel of how each new day was wonderful and inspiring while being totally unique and fulfilling. Often she would sit for hours with the elderly Sioux women, listening to their stories of the spirits of the land, vision quests and the great festivals of the tribe. Sam could feel the pull of the ancients, sense the heartbeat of these once proud people. Her parents, John and Elizabeth were hardworking people of German decent who loved their life, loved their ranch and loved their children. Sam was the middle of three. I think that was part of our problem, if you don’t mind my saying so. I wasn’t mature enough to handle what we were doing and what we were talking about.”“You mean you moving in here?”“Yes. I was trying to have my cake and eat it, too, if you will, and I wasn’t really hearing what you were saying. Maybe you weren’t conscious of it, but you were asking me to make a commitment even before I moved in, and I missed that. And that’s what caused the problem.”Nancy sighed deeply, “That’s more or less what both my counselor and my mom said. That I was demanding something that I didn’t realize I was demanding, then held you accountable for something I couldn’t properly verbalize. All rooted in my inability to trust you.”“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” I said gently.“I think I hurt me and I hurt you. And messed up something that was really nice. Not to mention great sex!”I smiled, remembering how much I enjoyed making love with her, “It was very good.”“How upset would Melody be if we did it?”That.
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