Experience. I mean–” he said, his eyebrows lifting up in that way they do when he’s feeling exuberant, I love the way it lifts his eyes so wide open– “all of my queenie take-it-in-the-ass bona fides notwithstanding, it’s a crap shoot out there.” I matched his eyebrow-arching, with as much irony as mirth. “Pun acknowledged, but not intended–” “Bullshit. Pun totally intended,” I shot back. “But–” “Butt–” “Sheila, don’t be a dumbass. I’m saying–” “Why not ‘don’t be an asshole’?” “Oh ha-ha-ha,” he said, tiring of me. “Why not, we have a theme going here!” I added poutily. “Honey, I would want you to experience how great it can be–” “Fucking in the ass?” I cued. “Yes darling, how great getting fucked in the ass can be. But you need a knowledgeable partner for that. You need to be prepared, mentally, physically–” “Oh Jesus, spare me Matthew. You just want to make sodomy another piece of arcana that gay boys can have a monopoly on. You taught me how to shop American Apparel,” I said. Shelby was happy again. She had her two Best Friends Forever back. She forgot her friends even mentioned giving their virginities to her Daddy. Almost.Shelby was home after school. It was another good day with her friends even after that strange part about her Daddy. That topic was so two hours ago.She turned on the TV then headed straight to her room to drop off her backpack on the bed. She looked into her dresser mirror and rubbed a perceived imperfection over her right eyebrow. She immediately decided that she needed to put make-up on that area of her face.She entered the kitchen ten minutes later, grabbed a Coke from the fridge, and pulled out cut up apples and pears. She put some fruit in a bowl and put the rest back in the fridge. She came back into the living room and sat down on the couch. She popped open the Coke and took a sip.On the TV, a man blathered on. Shelby looked around for the remote control. It wasn't on the end table where she set it down, but she knew where it.
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