“Her bed” … her only bed. I may be ill, I may be dying, I may be alcohol poisoned but I am a creature of curiosity and if I am never to leave this place then there are things I wish to know.I have no memories; despite my best fuzzy, throbbing headed efforts I cannot recall a single detail of arriving. There was an off-licence, a second bottle of vodka, tears and a park bench but beyond that blankness. I have no clothes and no shoes. I thought of leaving, of finding my bag, my pretty diamante heels and the thigh length coat that I used to sheath my naked, shameful, disgusted body and fleeing to the soiled sanctity of my own home … but they are nowhere to be seen because everything that is here, everything that surrounds me, is her.Sweet, nervous, damaged, Clara.Delicious little Clara, her delicate hand quivering beneath mine as I closed my fingers over it during lunch, her doe eyes watery and adoring as we nibbled our canteen food and exchanged pleasantries uncertain of what bond, what. I assumed there were eyes on me as Iwalked in, but there were so many people there that I couldn't focus onany one person.There were several people at the desk. I went to the station of ahandsome young Chinese man and said I was there to see Yueh?n. Theclerk nodded, "yes miss, he said and looked something up the name on thecomputer, and apparently found it, raising his eyebrows when he did."I see," he said. "And your name, miss?" Ani Chen." Yes," he said again. "allow me to acknowledge your arrival," and hepunched something into the computer, "and then I will show you to thepenthouse elevator."He then pulled his security badge from the keyboard, came around thecounter, and told me to come with him.I followed him across the lobby. My heels clicked loudly, and I had tosway a lot to walk fast enough to keep up. I was certain there wereeyes on me, and I can't say it didn't feel good. We went past the rowof elevators, to an alcove with just one elevator. The clerk used hisbadge.
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