Already Dawn was suggesting how we could remodel the kitchen. She had encouraged me to take long walks and was helping to correct my eating habits.Without her, I would do the things that needed to be done. I would endure the difficulties and work through the pain. If I cut myself, I would put a piece of duct tape on the wound and continue with my work. With Dawn, I had another person to think about. I had to think about her needs, her worries, and her wishes.Somehow, with all those thoughts running through my brain, I once again drifted off into a fitful sleep. Several times, I awoke to find myself all wrapped up in my bag. I adjusted my bag and went back to sleep. That bed at home was looking more and more inviting. I tried to imagine a nice long shower. I could almost imagine how good it would feel.The next morning, I awoke bright and early. This time, I wasn't as hesitant to get out of the bag. I knew that I had much to do before we could get started on our trek back home. As I. She wanted a husband that was at home and there for her and the kids.I know she tried hard but driving was all I knew. We started arguing time and time again about me changing jobs and we ended up getting divorced.One day as I rode though Pennsylvania, a Hank Williams song came on the radio, and it cut through all of my thoughts."I tried so hard, my dear, to show that you're my every dream.Yet you're afraid each thing I do is just some evil schemeA memory from your lonesome past keeps us so far apartWhy can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold heart?"It was like Diane was talking to me. I believe she really did love me and gave all she could. I knew that she wanted a normal home and loving husband who was there for her. She always told me that I was great when I was there. The problem was, I wasn't there enough.I often wondered if she knew that the memory from my lonesome past was Trina. I rarely talked about Joe and Trina, but again I was the quiet one and didn't.
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