When her haunting voice filled my speakers I had to pull over, because all I could think of was Jeff.A bright sunrise will contradict the heavy fog that weighs you downIn spite of all the funeral songsThe birds will make their joyful soundsYou wonder why the earth still movesYou wonder how you’ll carry onBut you’ll be okay on that first day when I’m goneDusk will come with fireflies and whippoorwill and crickets callAnd every star will take its placeIn silvery gown and purple shawlYou’ll lie down in our big bedDread the dark and dread the dawnBut you’ll be alright on that first night when I’m goneWhen the song was over the announcer told the story of the couple behind the music. Joey was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and the song was her way of telling her husband that he would be okay after she left him. There were days when the pain from Jeff’s passing was as fresh as if it were yesterday. Little things would remind me of my best friend. I hadn’t realized how much I would miss. The train therefore was the next best thing. It’d take a little longer, be a little bumpier and I’d be sitting with complete strangers, facing the potential of anything happening. Bear in mind, if you will, that I had met someone that I would now consider a good friend on here earlier during the week. We had started talking about lots of different things, including uni, what turned us on and who we were. Annie was one of the reasons I joined Lush. I saw her profile, read her stories and was like :O WOW. So, when she accepted my friend request, naturally I was delighted. The morning of my train journey, a Sunday, Annie and I had been talking and I was set a challenge: To see if I could find a quiet spot on the train and “enjoy” myself a little. Later that day I was dropped off at one station, not my home one as nothing was going through there that day. When I got on the first train, a brick on wheels, there was no chance that I’d be able to do anything to pleasure myself, sigh. I.
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