"She texted me "U = [cute unicorn emoji]" and a pdf with preparationinstructions, and that was it. Appointment made.I closed my eyes and imagined the results.Over the weekend, I sent more photos morning and night to Daddy, and wetexted a bit. He was letting me come back to myself a little, and also towant him, and think about everything....I walked a lot, seeing all thedifferent types of people, and wondering about them, about their secretsand their desires, but most of all about him. I was falling in love, andin a different way....but I'm a guy? Maybe not..shit.....I'm a..? What amI now....does it even matter?I don't care, I'm going there with him, you only live once one life tolive, and all that, and well, it turns me on. Go away, shameful feelingsand guilt over stuff I have no control over. I'm a good person I know Iam...and It turns me on, and him too, and after all those years ofpurging and shame I met someone special who..oh FUCKK!!!!...shut up!!! Iyelled at myself...and told. Until they don’t anymore. They also want the status of dating a porn star and think that this will lower hang-ups. Well, it often does, but not always in ways that they like. Important thing to remember. This is a lot easier industry to enter than it is to exit.“No matter what else you do, you’ll always be known as a porn star. Once a guy or girl gets into this business, people will judge them, no matter what. They could win a Nobel Peace Prize and still be known as a porn star. That’s the darker side of it, the downside, the judgmental pricks who love to watch porn, but judge and condemn the very people that they watch.“Once you face and accept those consequences, though, life becomes easier. You know what to expect, what your role and purpose in it is, what to look for and prepare for, all that jazz. Trust me, if you feel down about yourself in the future, because people don’t want to shake your hand or you don’t get wedding invitations from your kith and kin, focus on one key.
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