TheClaudia Bell he had always known would have laughed off anybodyclaiming things like that. Was it possible that she was playing apractical joke on him after all? That would have been a reasonableexplanation, if not for Claudia's personality and attitude when it cameto business, and she clearly thought there was a business opportunityhere.Art's peace of mind was largely gone after that point. While he usuallyalmost never dreamed (or remembered whatever dreams he had afterwards),the next night his brain treated him to a vivid nightmare of a factoryproduction line that squashed human bodies into pulp and thenreconstructed them into identical doll-like beings that came out on aconveyor belt. He woke up covered in cold sweat and could not go backto sleep until hours later. The following night there was another baddream, with essentially the same terrifying content.Even though the nightmares fortunately ended after the second one,something of a permanent unease made Art's mind its new. “Thanks for letting me do that! I always do it when I come up here. The oil, the sun, the water, the smell of the grass ... they seduce me.”I smiled back. “Thanks for letting me watch. I remember how unself-conscious you always were back in the day. You haven’t changed a bit!”“Oh, yes, I have! Now I’m hornier! I feel that I’m coming into my full potential now as a woman, in a way that I wasn’t when I was twenty. But can I ask you a question?”“Sure,” I said.“Why didn’t you join me?”That stopped me cold, and I took a while to answer. I thought about Darren, I thought about the pain. And it occurred to me that I had never given myself permission to climax after that episode. I didn’t want to kick that hornet’s nest of emotion and conflict. Every time I played with myself and found the erotic sensations growing, some sort of “safety valve” kicked in and killed them.And that’s what I told Erin. It took me a while to get it all out, during which time she listened to every word. When I was.
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