Oh Evan, you're somisunderstood. Well that ends now. After your latest little expeditioninto irresponsibility, your father and I had a long talk. I said I wastired of this. I said I was tired of the flat-out mistreatment that youladle out to me and I was tired of him not doing his part. When Isuggested this is how we remedy the situation, he was leery, but Iinsisted. Your father and brother can be a bit coarse and insensitive,but you are simply spoiled and feel entitled. I told him this is the waywe are going to cure you of your harebrained macho crap and if he didn'tgo along with it, I was out of here. He could raise his two sons on hisown. I am simply tired of taking it, especially from you."I was no even more scared than I was when lying over my father's kneeawaiting his hand to make contact with my bottom. My mother wouldneither release my face nor her stare. She saw the fear and she madecertain I knew that she saw that fear. She held it firm. After whatseemed like. It had been absolute chaos for far too long. So I decided for a while to just pour myself into my work. I'm a truck driver, and at the time I was working locally, driving a dump truck, so I found any and all excuses I could to work longer, not so much for the extra money, but to keep my mind off the pain I was feeling. Then on the weekends, I'd hit the bottle trying to find comfort...unfortunately there was none to be found. I had tried dating some at the time but discovered it was too early yet. I met a few women for some casual sex, but at the time, it didn't feel right, there just wasn't that intimate connection there. It was fun, but it felt meaningless. Sometime later, some of my buddies dragged me to a party with them, I wasn't feeling like going, I just wanted to stay home and watch TV and drown my sorrows in a bottle, however, they said to me, “no you're not, you're not going to sit at home and try and drink your problems away. You need to get out and see what's out there.”.
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