I wasn't doing much better myself. I would go to work then home; sleep was a thing from my past. Now I would just lay in bed and toss and turn.I still loved her, hell; I still even wanted her. I just couldn't accept her cheating on me. After those months apart I figured that I'd have come to a decision about us, but all I had done is mope around more and more. It was affecting my job performance as well. I knew I had to do something, but now I wasn't sure what that was.One night I decided to go out. I went to a lively dance club and soon discovered that I was among the oldest there. I hadn't been out much for a while and it seemed my favorite places had become overrun with a younger crowd.I sat at the bar and nursed my drink. I was thinking that I had made a mistake and should just head on home. Suddenly a hand touched my arm."Can I slip in here for a sec honey?"I was looking at a beautiful young woman. Long blonde hair and a very nice body. A model's body but with a rather large. Being all alone at a sex-related festival is very different from being there with a cherished lover, and I was having trouble adjusting. She was going to help me teach a class, and I wasn’t sure who I could find that I’d trust enough to take on that role.The weather was looking discouraging.I got on the plane and felt nervous, wondering how things would work out. Still, I was heading to the space where I first met Venus, where I first embraced spirituality and real openness. What could go wrong.I found out as the taxi turned off the highway about 45-minutes away from the airport. “O, fuck!,” I said.“What’s wrong.”My stomach was knotted so tightly I couldn’t get the words out for a few moments. On top of everything else, I just couldn’t deal with this. “This isn’t my bag.” For a few brief moments I considered abandoning my luggage and just going without for the festival, replacing everything later. The festival was clothing-optional; there isn’t a lot I strictly had to have. Giving up.
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