People assumed that I was Stan's girlfriend. And more than ever before,I was.After dinner, we drove up to Scenic Drive, right at the end of theFranklin Mountains that run through El Paso. There's a scenic overlookthere where you can see the Rio Grande and almost all of the city ofJuarez, El Paso's "sister city" in Mexico. I snuggled up next to him andwe looked out over the lights and talked for a long time. I talked aboutall the new sensations and feelings I was having as a girl, and about the"honesty" I felt being with him in public dressed as a woman. Strangelyenough, he had come to the same realization. The thing I realized isthat as much as I liked dressing up in panties and stockings and a prettydress and makeup and high heels and going out and showing myself inpublic, Stanley enjoyed it when I did that, too, and for many of the samereasons. When I dressed as a girl, we didn't have to hide. We likedbeing honest, and not hiding. But I had this problem of the identitythat. YES' i yelled but amediatly regreted it when i saw a group of kids laughing even so i was walking on clouds and breathing heaven. i sprinted to tell grandma and get packed. ''im going to fudan university in shanghai, china'' i repeated over and over in my head. after saying good bye to everyone that cared to come to the airport to see me off and the long flight i was sitting at my rented apartment doorstep fumbling with the keys. (it was a reasonable size apartment one big bedroom ,big bathroom ,kitchen and living room. i could only afford it because of my parents, they gave me a college fund before they left but i got the scholarship so now its 50,000$ worth of living money.) i exhaled a big breath finally finding the right key and opening the door. this was going to be my home for the next 4 years. i reached for the light but it didn't come on. 'great now what', i said aloud. after throwing my bags in my room i sat down thinking of how great i could make my new life or how i.
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