But they were saddened to hear that she would not be returning to Northwestern… she asked them to forward her transcripts to UCLA. Then she was busy contacting UCLA and applying for a transfer to finish her undergraduate studies in communications. The only thing that made Megan feel uncomfortable was all the national media attention she was getting because they’d learned about the album she’d made the previous summer and that it had just been released… and the public was hailing her as a hero after they’d heard the whole story. Needless to say, the record company was thrilled with all the publicity… her records were flying off the shelves! And her song Forever Yours became an instant hit because of her poignant lyrics and melody and the fact that it was about her love for the man whose life she’d saved. But the song Jonnie kept hearing Megan humming and singing off and on during the weeks leading up to Christmas was not one of her own… it was a song he’d never heard before. He asked. ? I knew very well what thismeant.? In our sessions, without a gag,my wife could use her safe word, her own name, any time things became too intense.? I encouraged her to use it, as sometimes Iwould push her boundaries, and when she had reached her tolerance, she wouldsay that simple word and the activity would stop.? On the other hand, a ?gag in? session wasreserved for correction or seriously dark moods where I was going to take herbeyond her limits, or to my satisfaction.?This is a huge trust issue.? Forexample, if I know my sub can take ten strokes of the cane, and on the eleventh,she will loose her composure, and use her safe word, then in a gag-in session,I might continue past ten and eleven, while she screams into the gag and fightsthe restraints, but I will stop at fifteen at most.? It is not a huge step past the limits, butthe effect is amazing. In the end, that emotional release, that knowledge thatyou have no control at all, that breakdown leaves the subbie drained.
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