I drank it and concealedmy distaste."Have you remembered any more, love?"The lie tasted worse than the tea, even though I was well used to itnow. "Nothing else. Just a blank before I woke up in the ambulance."Tracy looked sceptical, who could blame her. Even the surgeons andpsychiatrists had been bemused my my memory loss."Aye, well these things take time."I was offered the baby and took her gingerly, as though I might breakher. She seemed content at least and grinned at me, sucked my fingersand kicked happily. I let them take a picture of us together, and attheir suggestion I switched on my phone and they took pictures of me andKayzia with it. Kirsty's Mam coo'd at the sight of us together and evenTracy's flinty expression softened. I've never been comfortable withchildren - Kayzia didn't change that; my body clearly didn't recognisethe blood bond and didn't have some maternal switch flicked on. Thenotion of being pregnant, which came to mind at something Kirsty's Mamsaid about me. Par raat me na jane tumhe dekhne ke bad mujhe keya ho jata hai ki mera man kabu me hi nahi rahta aor main aisa kar baithta hun. Nagma main janta hun ki yah sab sharer ki bhukh hai aor yah bhukh tumhe bhi to lagti hi hongi par tum ladki ho shayad isliye sahan kar leti hogi par mujhse to sahan nahi hoti hai aor mainbahak jata hun.Mohan ki baat sunkar, Maine kaha ye sab to thik hai par tum mere devar ho tumhara kam to meri ijjat bachana hai aor tumhi meri ijjat ko lutna chahte ho. To mohan ne kaha ki nagma main tumhari ijjat lutna nahi chahta hun main to sirf tumhain bas thoda sa tumhe pyar karna chahta hun jisse mere dil ko kuch sakun mile aor is se tumhare dil ko bhi to sukun milega. Aor phir yah bat sirf ham dono ke bich hi to rahegi na tumhari badnami hogi aor na hi meri. Bas tum kisi ko kuch bhi batan mat.Main mohan ki baten sun kar khamosh khadi sochne lagi ki keya mujhe aisa sab karma chahiye? Main apna sir jhukaye bina koi javab diye khadi rahi tab mohan ne age badh kar phir se.
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