As we are carrying her casket out to the hearst, it slipped out of our hands and began to tumble downhill. We started to chase after it, but it was moving too fast to stop it.On the way down the hill I ran into a pharmacy and asked the pharmacist: “Do you have something to stop this coffin?”A bit of British Humor... I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he’s only got one arm bless him.I shouted - “Where you off to Charlie?”He said, “I’m off to change a light bulb.”“That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?”“Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not. ’‘Donald does teach most the day every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday so everything else must be moved to accomplish on Wednesdays. Yes, I can still meet my commitments with a little shuffling and be available to him when he wants me.’Meanwhile, Donald also thinks as he caresses her thigh.‘How did this all happen? I can’t believe when I answered that little waif’s rather pathetic email that it could come to this. I could see the underlying desires and yearnings in her messages, but never expected this much flowering. This little cocoon which has been kept in for so many years. Almost forty now bursts forth into this beautiful butterfly which from just tonight I can see will constantly be turning heads.’‘This sexual essence which has exploded from her gives off such an aura. Yes, I dressed her perfectly for her shape, and the makeup gives her a certain glow. But even though Emma does have a tummy, and thick hips and thighs, tonight no one noticed that. All they saw was a woman.
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