Pictures. Oldest is me standing on the foundation of a pump at the powerplant project where I first got the title of ‘Engineer’s apprentice’. And there were pictures of me and a few airplanes – Hanna’s red Extra. Wally’s yellow and blue Air Tractor. Me and the ‘rescuers’ beside Songbird on the taxiway in Kansas.“They said you’re a pilot,” he said. “Gonna say two words, Doctor Cynthia Richards.”I looked at him.“Air Force.”“What?”“Get you a commission, lady...”“You realize that I’m not quite nineteen...”“Still do it. You’d be around...”“Major Kettler,” I said, “you’re treading on dangerous ground. You promise me the cockpit of an F-35, I’m going to have to claim inappropriate behavior...”“Cindy, you’d be wasted. R&D.”“I’m doing R&D. And I’m flying. Might not be the hottest civilian aircraft available, but I do get to play with a variety.”“Something for you to consider,” he said. “Now. About that tour.”My head was swimming as I led him out the door. Visions of Cindy Richards, late of a. I lived with constant terror and went about my required activities like a zombie. It had over sixty days, two months and each day it became more evident something was very wrong.Standing in front of the mirror drove me to tears. My breasts were steadily becoming larger and larger and more and more tender. My nipples were much larger, darker, and so sensitive.To make matters even worse, for the last three weeks, each morning when I got up I felt nauseous for a while. It had nothing to do with what I ate or what I did. It came on as I got out of bed in the morning and stayed with me for about an hour. Then I it went away.On top of all this I was beginning to think I was losing my mind. I was so emotional. I could cry at any moment. Everything scared me. This terror was driving me nuts. I was overcome by anxiety, sadness, fear, and self loathing. I struggled to keep a hold on my mind.Along with everything else, I was possessed by demon emotions I could not explain. Wild elusion would.
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