Then I started to feel guilty about something else,something that's always bothered me in this relationship, although Iguess it's silly. Wally claims it's part of what attracted him to me inthe first place.Wally's not a small guy, but I'm still a good three inches taller thanhim in my flats. I guess you could call me a "big girl." I'm not fator anything, although nobody's ever accused me of being skinny either.I'm just, well, big. It makes me feel like I'm exaggerating hisproblems just by existing. Not only am I the breadwinner, I wear biggerpants than him, too.But he always says he doesn't see it that way. After a few moments ofme holding him like that, he pushed me away and started mutteringsomething about burnt bread not doing anybody any good, then went to puton his oven mitts. I grabbed the two remaining stale rolls and slunkout of the kitchen, telling Wally to meet me in the bedroom when he wasdone. I looked at the two rolls in my hand with severity. I neededsomething. Hearing me he said “Its ok …. don’t cry I love you and this will be our little secret…. Bhabi doesn’t need to ,no one has to know ” (to think that I’m sharing my secret now… but this was eating me on the inside ). And like all men he was clueless , I wasn’t crying because he had a wife and kids , I was crying for the fact that I wanted him more now and somehow this taboo was making more sense in my head than what was right. That thought of what to do was making me cry.After some consoling by , I made a pact with him that since we were both adults and needed affection and sex sometimes we could help each other as adults, but outside we were to maintain our distance. Also I told him that he will not force me into anything I don’t want to do and that once I get into a relationship maybe in the future we would stop. He agreed completely, to which he added that I had to comply to some of his wishes as well. He was cunning…… he had a list of wants of what is should wear at home (mostly.
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