It seems to be all too much for Julia; she bursts into tears as we pullup. Wiping them away she mutters, "I wasn't going to do that," as Itake her hand. I can see Lily waiting for us at the door. I feel theanger rising in me. She looks so frail and timid just standing there.She has no right to look that way, not with what she is doing to us.We get out of the car walking gingerly up the gravel pathway. Julia hasparked on the road, as if she wasn't sure she'd be allowed to come onthe grounds of the house. I feel awkward walking towards Lily, I wantto take Julia's hand in a gesture of support but I worry I'd be gettingher into trouble."You are late," Lily speaks to Julia, I am not included."Sorry," Julia starts. "Only by twenty minutes, I'm still getting usedto the layout of Oxford."They chat for a few minutes about how we spent the weekend. Julia tellsLily about the museums we visited and where we went to eat. For a briefmoment there is a thawing in the Cold War between the two women.. If we had been married, I would never have left without you…. The truth… it was my love for you that scared me and made me leave you behind.’ ‘Oh, and why is that?’ he inquired. ‘Because… I was afraid my love for you would hold me back. Not allow me to dedicate myself to my career.’ ‘You’re wrong about the movie. She took her husband because they were a team. Without him there would be no need for a career. She built it with him and around them. No way it would have worked if she had built the career, then tried to fit him into it.’ ‘I’m still building mine. We can still do it together. I need you to be a part of it.’ ‘Haven’t you come to realize yet that life doesn’t work that way, we can’t just go back and start over,’ he said while watching another little whirlpool slowly disappear as the surrounding water sucked it up. ‘No, of course you haven’t…. I forgot, you’ve never experienced the word ‘no.’ You’ve always gotten everything you desired. ‘I finally realized it wasn’t me that.
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