“Help?” she joked, then shook her head. “Let’s go with Ranger.”Tomas just grinned.“Look, you might hear some info that I would appreciate not being shared with anyone, personal stuff.” Carol said uneasily, looking over at the swarthy soldier.“No problemo, chica. What happens on the mission, stays on the mission.” he said with a nod.When the front door opened to her knock, Carol stood silent as she took in sight of the woman in the doorway. She was mid-forties but took good care of herself, working out religiously. She wasn’t as strong as Carol, or as buff as Stella, but she was an Amazon by anyone’s standards. Standing an inch over six feet, she was solid and strong with long blond hair and a set of DD’s, fake that softened her appearance.“Carol, darling, it is so wonderful to see you again,” the woman gushed.Carol found herself picturing, in vivid detail, what was under the silk dressing gown and found it hard to reply.“Susan. How is your husband?”The woman’s face tightened, her eyes. ’ You aren’t feeling sorry for the person who died. They no longer feel anything. ‘You’re feeling sorry for yourself, that’s all.’ Brave words, even if they are true. Well, almost all true. Memories of how much the person suffered. Memories not yet been buried. Regret for their lost years, for the life they might have had. Opportunities to love and be loved. There’s reason enough to feel sorry for the one who has died. But mostly it’s self-pity. Right? Right? Right. What I need is food. Can’t live on coffee and whiskey. Did I say ‘live’? Shit, Dave. Get a grip. Have another cigarette. Peg’s only vice. She gave up dozens of times but kept coming back to it. Her dependence was more psychological than physical. Growing up we smoked because cigarettes were cheap and smoking was the socially acceptable thing to do. Even expected. A real ice-breaker when making or greeting friends. ‘How are you Bob? I’d like you to meet Rachel. Like a cigarette? What you been up to? Have another cigarette..
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