” Feelings of isolation & alienation are common in this stage. A person might wonder “Is this a phase?” “Am I only attracted to this one same sex person, or is this going to be a permanent trend?”Step Three: Identity Tolerance.In this stage, a person might begin to accept identifying as gay, lesbian or transgendered or bisexual. Some might come to terms with some parts of being a gay, but not fully embrace it. One might accept participating in sexual activity with woman and consider it okay, but may not be ready to identity as lesbian or bisexual for example, in public- thus, leading a ‘double life.’ Or a man may come to accept that he has fallen in love with another man, but considers this an isolated situation. At this stage, it is common for people to seek out a gay/ lesbian/bi-sexual community or social group as a way to explore or experience identifying with other people of the same sexual orientation as a means for support.Step Four: Identity Acceptance. In this stage a person. There was something about her that really turned meon. She was 22. I’d thought she was maybe 19.After awhile, since we did both have carts full ofgroceries; there was that awkward pause when we bothknew it was time to move on but not sure how togracefully part ways. I mentioned that I was going towork out later this afternoon at my fitness club. Sheexpressed an interest, and I asked if she wanted to joinme as my guest. No, she couldn’t today, she said, shehad to work. But there was something about the way shesaid it that seemed wistful. I wrote down my phonenumber on a slip of paper. “Well, give me a call if youwant a workout some evening.” Again her dark eyeswidened, and she looked away, but quickly glanced backwith a look that seemed inquiring; I sensed an interest.And I think she knew I was flirting with her.* * * Three or four days later I got home from work, and thephone rang. It was Susan. She wanted to go to thefitness center with me. We arranged to.
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