One psychiatrist said I'dbeen prematurely sexualised. I suppose that's right. I knew that I hatedmen, but I could manipulate them so easily to my own end. As for myfemale peers, they were immature girls initially, then as we aged,tiresome rivals." So, as a result, I didn't form friendships, or, what you would call anylong term emotional attachments. I was always alone. I guess I got tolike it that way." But I think I told you I was pretty. And I could be charming. That'spart of the sociopathic shtick I'm sure you know. So I could orchestratepeople to my own requirements." One thing I did right though was when I received my money at 18, Ididn't squander it. I didn't waste it on drugs or booze or partying. Ipaid for my education. I went to a second rate college and got my lawdegree, and schmoozed my way into a job at Fraser and Morgan. Which I'msure you've heard of." The television lawyers?" It was a relatively new thing, in thiscountry, to see lawyers advertising on television."You. He looked at his watch. "Forty seconds, get naked and in the shower, or else."I turned on the hot water, kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra and slid my panties down."Five seconds." Dad had his shoes off, and was unhooking his belt.I got into the shower, still wearing my socks, and closed the curtain."Five minutes," yelled dad."I need more time than that." Four minutes and forty-five seconds, and you will be out of the shower. Then you have two minutes to get dry. Otherwise I'll wash and dry you myself.I was afraid of my father. Dad had never abused me, but he was a domineering father. His word was law to me the whole time I was growing up. I wanted so much to please him, but it seemed I seldom could do things the way he wanted them done. Now he was calling out time checks every fifteen seconds. I was out of the shower with fifteen seconds left. My father watched me the whole time, even though I was naked. Mother was nowhere in sight. I was more or less dry, wrapped in a too small.
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