As I went back to my digs I was full oftrepidation and excitement , it was nearly impossible to sleep that night wondering what itwould be like , would I be a wimp and cry or beg for it to stop.I arrived early and found him putting light ropes over the metal latticework of the ceiling , 2other ropes were wrapped around the base of seed sacks , he ordered me to strip to the waistand stand under the hanging ropes with arms raised , each wrist was then bound and the ropespulled up and secured , not quite on tiptoe ; my legs then spread apart and tied to the sacks.Now I shivered feeling totally helpless and at his mercy.From under other sacks he produced a rough sisal rope whip of some 15 strands each about1/8th inch thick some 11/2 ft long ,stretching it between each hand he dragged it across mynipples and chest ; whilst in a soft voice asking if I was sure I wanted him to proceed ; whichit being my first time was to be 50 lashes , however if I proved to be receptive he wouldextend. I tend to believe, in retrospect, that I was acting on a subconscious desire to have him give me the life I was reading about in those books and stories. I know. That's stupid. I didn't know the man at all and he was more than twice my age. I had four hours before I had to show up at my cleaning job. I got dressed and sat at my little kitchen table and thought about going over there and returning his books. As I thought about it I began to imagine some of the far fetched things that might happen if I did. Really imagine them, picture them in my mind. Before I knew it I was parking at the curb outside Mr. Ford's house.I sat in my car for a few minutes, telling myself that I was insane. I guess I was right, because I got out of my car and went to his front door and rang the bell. He keeps his car in the garage so I couldn't tell if he was home. I didn't hear anything until he opened the door. When he saw me he stepped back to let me in. "Are you here to return my books?" he asked. I.
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