I had looked forward to the dinner as a welcome distraction from my deep down thirst to be subjugated, humiliated, degraded by white men. This deep down thirst had started to surface a year ago and I had done everything possible to ignore it. I had worked three jobs, volunteered and learned how to play several musical instruments, just so I didn't act on it; Just so I didn't feel it swallowing me little by little; just so I can keep an air of respectability. I knew it would be a matter of time before my wall would come down and I lived in fear of it. So on this particular night, when my friends cancelled our plans at the last minute, they may as well have allowed me sink with the Titanic. They wouldn't have done it on purpose, and I could have struggle just a little harder, but alas I was on my way down, stuck deep down the bowls of the ship. It all began at 8pm when I went online to a hookup site. I was desperately scrawling through profiles, and sending messages to white men that. ’ ‘Not too bad,’ she said, and held out her hand for his stack. She looked at him and said, ‘A buck and a half in trade.’ He nodded at her and then went straight to the thriller section. Henry currently was reading Dean Koontz, and selected a favorite of hers, ‘Watchers’. He grabbed it, a copy of ‘Mr. Murder’ and returned, setting them in front of her. She totaled the bill at five dollars even, and he used the trade he brought in plus some additional trade onanother card, and left her with a dollar and thirty-five in cash. The warm summer evening sun stared to cast crimson and orange streaks and lit up the front of her shop. Henry turned toward her with his head in his dreams. ‘Y’know this reminds me when I was a kid. My date and I would drive up into the hills there, and watch the sun set.’ She looked at him dryly and said, ‘Why don’t you take your wife? I’m sure she would appreciate getting out of the house.’ Henry coughed and looked at her coolly. He opened his mouth up to reply.
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