I know as you go through the houses you check out the bedrooms. We all know you look in on the sleeping children. What's that all about? Oh, I know. Heck, maybe that should be brought up to the right people? So, when you are looking in, if you spy a good looking stacked babe in a teddy, just throw her in your bag and bring her to me. I can take it from here, once you drop her off. Heck, this should be easier than making toys all year! Haven't you heard of multi-tasking?Your pal,Bad Irving-----Dear Mr. Irving: Dec 22 On behalf of Santa Claus you are here-by notified of a restraining order. You will cease and desist further harassment of Mr. Claus or any of his enterprises. You are further notified of a pending suit for slandering Mr. Claus by suggesting that his legitimate business inquiries on sleeping children are some form of pedophilia. The last item is a charge of conspiracy by suggesting that he kidnap people. Respectfully,Elf and Elf Esquire-----Listen-up Fat Boy: Dec 23 Hey!. .. much better. It's as simple as that. You, Dieter Hunsinger, are plenty good enough for me. I like strong, confident men. But I don't like arrogant men. That's the difference between you and the other guys who want to date me. Most of them are arrogant. You are not! Understood?" I don't think I qualify as confident," I replied meekly."Not around me ... but we'll work on that. I'm sure I can help," she grinned."I'm sure you can," I replied, pulling her back in for another kiss, this time one of mine.We didn't hop into the sack that evening. We made a nice supper for ourselves, then sat on the sofa in the great room (that's what she called their big living room) and watched a movie on the flat screen TV. She had her arms around me and was slouched against me. I couldn't make up my mind whether to take this farther, but decided against trying anything that night. I really wanted a second date.When the movie ended, Merilee yawned and stretched, giving me a good look at just how nice her.
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