We talked ... mainly small talk and then she vanished.”“The same woman?” Roger asked.“Yes. What’s also weird is that I remember the details. Normally I can’t remember dreams but these are so vivid -- I remember everything. Last night was the topper. She appeared, took my hand and the next thing I know I’m in Bangkok.”“Thailand?”“No. Bangkok Portugal. Of course Thailand. We were at the Temple of the Emerald Buddha -- the grounds of the royal palace, looking over the sights. We were holding hands the whole time. Then when I let go -- I was back in my room. I looked up the Emerald Buddha on Wikipedia. It was all there. I remembered all the details -- the mirror chips in the paint, the gold costume on the Buddha ... the carvings, the gold leaf. It was as if I was really there.”“You think this woman in your dreams is Carmen?”“Who else could it be?”“Don’t ask me -- it’s your dream. What makes you think she’s Carmen?”“Well ... I’ve never actually seen Carmen’s face. I’ve heard her voice and. Just like in my "Black Cannon" story,I've had many pricks pressed against my thigh.Even after learning the truth,a lot of the straight black guys I was dancing with took me to the parking lot for some "quick relief".I was more than happy to accomodate them but always made them kiss me first.I hunger to be held and kissed by black men.This was my reward for the pleasure I was about to bring them.Sometimes we'd return and I'd hear whispered talk with the expression "never happen".A kiss and a quickie doesn't make a guy a HOMO.I've heard that expression from many of my black lovers friends over the years.Then,quite suddenly,they'd contact me and wonder if they can come over to talk.If I liked them,I'd invite them over.They did want to be assured that they'd be meeting me as a woman as they'd only seen me out on the town,all gussied up.Of course they'd be meeting me as a woman,I'm no homo.A couple of hours before the time arrived,I bathed,shaved completely,patted dry and contemplated what.
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