We had been married for a dozen years, and I had never doubted her in all that time. Suddenly I was seriously worried for my marriage and family. This wasn't like Alice at all.My sudden doubts made me feel like a heel, too. All I had were a couple of coincidences and a casual comment. Maybe Fay had been the one missing Monday. Nevertheless I figured I'd better look into this. If I didn't it would be bugging me and I would find myself looking jealously and doubting my best friend. I'd never been jealous before, and it would put a sour smell around our relationship.At the same time, I couldn't bring myself to tell my love that I doubted her. It was too preposterous to be true and she would either get mad or think it hilariously funny, or both. And I sure didn't want to give her ideas.Now that was exactly the kind of thing I'd start thinking if I didn't get this cleared up!Now I'm not a very impressive physical specimen, and I wondered how I would handle myself if I found out my Alice. My small boobs did not matter, I became more confident; my sexuality blossomed. In my freshman year, the first guy I slept with was a senior. He changed me completely. He showed me exactly what my body could do, and how to achieve it. God, he could give me orgasms!I dated him exclusively for several months, but he was also seeing other girls. I was not jealous; I was just happy for his company. He was in a fraternity, and we went there often for parties. As my femininity developed, my appetite for more varied experiences deepened. I branched out to other guys in the fraternity, with his support. I gained considerable understanding and appreciation of my sexuality that year, and I put it to good use in the following three years.As I have previously said, after college, and meeting and marrying Greg, things were wonderful. Then, several years later, our small company was bought out by a large firm. Employees from both firms were fired—made redundant, as the Brits say. I was a casualty..
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