I find myself wondering if that might have been best. But such thinking is futile. I did sell the house. I did stay in Cambridge. And we did stay together, if peculiarly. My life become one of memory and fantasy. Memories of days, nights, experiences, with Julie and Anne, and other women, some of whose names I could not even remember, some of whom I was surprised to realize I had known twenty or thirty years earlier, were incomparably more vivid than Lynn’s infrequent, wraithlike presence. I masturbated to those memories considerably more than I had sex with my wife. And I masturbated to rented videos, seeking out those which featured women who bore some resemblance to Julie and Anne and Lynn in bondage or being sodomized. And I desultorily cruised the Internet, occasionally sending out the images of Lynn, but not often. I did not take any new pictures of her. That was far beyond our sex life, which consisted of my turning her sleeping body on its side in the mornings on those. She walked over to the easil and picked up the pencil, but now she was doing more looking than sketching. After a while she returned to my side of the room and again started examening my penis. But this time she was naked and it was unbearably erotic, I started to tremble as I looked down her smooth back to the flowing lines of her butt.I was taken a bit surprised when she grasped my penis and started moving her hand up and down alternately exposing and hiding the head as my foreskin stretched round it. I didn't know what to do so I slumped down to a seated position on the bed and watched in silence.Slowly she pushed the skin up and down my shaft getting me more and more aroused until on the extreme of one down stroke she gently enveloped the head in her mouth. I felt her tongue circling the edge of the gland and her hand restarted its up and down movement. This was amazing, like a dream and I was wishing it would never end when abruptly it did. She let go of my cock and drew back.
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