It was only pasta and atfirst it felt so wrong, watching him being in the kitchen which wasreally my domain but it also kind of felt nice. But it just made me feelguilty all over again because he was forced to do all this because I wasnot there. And I was not being the wife that I expected to be. All Iwanted was for him to get back to work so that I could go back to doingthose things and get back to the way things used to be. The way it shouldbe.Now and then I would gently bring up the topic of a job for him but itwas clear that he he was not ready. One day, after yet another pastadinner, I casually mentioned that one of my co workers had mentioned thata firm we knew was hiring. He slowly looked up and said, "Sweetheart, Iknow that this is hard for you that I am not working, but honey, I wantyou to please understand that I really don't want to work again.Everytime I think about going back to work, my heart starts beatingfaster and faster and I feel another panic atack coming along.. "I'd like some help with my backstroke, please, Mr. Harrault."It was Carla.This time, she was wearing a more modest yellow two-piece bathing suit, and her dark hair was pulled back. She looked young and sweet and innocent — could this be the girl who was willing to strip for me a few days ago? John thought as he glanced at her."Sure, Carla," he replied, "I'll go change and be right back."Minutes later, he came out, wearing checked swimming trunks.They walked silently out to the pasture. They caught two bay mares, and decided not to bother saddling them. They set off at a trot, and then cantered when they got to the shady woods.John felt himself beginning to relax. A swim would be good after all the days he had put in at the office and it was fun to be with someone who would at least talk to a guy! They reached the lake, and John dismounted."Oh, let's not swim here! The rest of the girls will be here soon, and I don't want them to see how bad my backstroke is!"John hesitated. They had.
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