“I just thought…” She ended the sentence with a shrug. I wondered if she was having second thoughts about her gift. I know I would have, had our roles been reversed. We were both silent for a moment, and then, I started giggling again. Soon, we were both laying back on the bed, tears running down our faces, elbows knees and feet touching, our faces turned towards each other. Not for the first time, I had a sudden impulse to kiss her, just to see what it would be like. Like all the other times, I thought better of it and turned my face away, heat burning not only in my cheeks, but much deeper. Desire coursed through me, and with it, guilt, fear, and, ultimately, confusion. “Why?” Of all the questions I could have asked, that was the one that slipped out of my mouth. I wondered, briefly, if she knew and she was teasing me, or perhaps she was encouraging me to share my true feelings. As if I even knew what those were! “Because… I was too embarrassed to get them for myself. Come one,. Twenty, um, twenty Marlboro...and a box ofuh...that's it, a box of Swans. Please."It's a good job I'm not in a general dealer's ordering next week'sgroceries. He'd be dead and buried before I got to the end of the list.The shopkeeper turns to the display cabinet, shaking his head."Sorry, I don't think I've got any left."Shit! What now?"Okay, let's see...uh, Winstons?"Down there on the right. You've gone past them, you stupid old git!Finally he places my cigarettes and matches on his pile of unsold copiesof the Portsmouth News."Sixty-seven, please."I fiddle inside my bag for my purse. Just as I'm picking out the first ofthe two 50p pieces I've decided to hand over, the strap slides down myarm. Within moments I'm presented with irrefutable empirical proof thatwhen coins fall to the floor they will roll as far from their point ofimpact as the available space allows.At this juncture any normal girl might be expected to apologise for herclumsiness with the assistance of a tried and trusted.
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