Hope you can use them.A duck walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?”“No this is a bar and we don’t serve ducks, now get out of here.”Next day the duck comes back, “Got any grapes?”“No, I do not and if you come here again, I’m going to nail your feet to the floor.”Next day the duck comes back again and asks, “Got any nails?”“No.”“Got any grapes?”Everyone’s BuddyAt a wedding reception I recently attended, the best man announced, “All the married men, please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living.”The bartender was nearly crushed to death!At breakfast, a man asked his wife:“What would you do if I won the lottery?”She replied, “I’d take half, and then leave you.”“Great,” he said. “I won $12 yesterday. Here’s $6. Stay in touch.”“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”“Yes, Father, it is.”“And who was the girl you were with?”“I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her. I couldn't take stock of everything; her fingers inside of me,tickling me; her chest firm and pressing into mine, a hand squeezing theflesh roughly, desperately; her tongue dancing in my mouth; the vastmajority of other sensations coming from a million different directions. I heard my male voice one more time in my head:"Fuck it."I wrapped my arms around her neck and legs around her midsection andsubmitted completely. Soon after, after building and building over thehottest scrambling sex of my life, the orgasm washed over me like a tidalwave, pulling and pounding to the rhythm of her magical fingers. Aftermy body started to calm down and stop shaking against my will, I relaxedonto the seat and pulled away, my muscles sore and sweat coating myforehead. My eyes kept shut trying to squeeze every last bit from themoment."That... oh my god," was all I could muster. I opened my eyes and foundthe girl, who had only moments before been groaning and squealing alongwith me, was staring at.
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