.. Replied the patient.Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.Not more than five minutes later, I heard herReporting to the rest of the family that he hadDied of a ‘massive internal fart.’Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg4. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ‘How long have you been bedridden?’After a look of complete confusion she answered...‘ Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.’Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR5. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams ... To cover my embarrassmentI had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughingAnd further embarrassing me.I looked up from my work and sheepishly said...‘ I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?’She. "Can I please have my trousers back now? I'm really sorry I was looking up your skirt but you're really pretty and I fancy you. I promise I won't do it again as long as you give me my clothes back."She just laughed at me again, "I haven't finished having fun with you yet, I want to see you do some girly things in that skirt." She looked around and thought for a second. "I know," she pointed at the wall of the art block, "I want you to do a handstand so that the skirt falls down and shows your underpants."Reluctantly I did so, my cheeks burning with humiliation as she just stood there laughing herself silly at how stupid I must look. It was horrible the feeling of the skirt falling down and knowing that my underpants were in plain sight. Finally she let me come down but then made me skip round the small area here, watching the pleated school skirt fly about my thighs."You've been a very naughty girl haven't you?" She asked with a frown on her face. I said nothing. "I asked if you had.
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