I got to his room a little earlier than expected and he looked a bit flustered when he greeted me at the door. Anyway, we went straight to work and I noticed that he had a webcam on a stool, under the table, at a perfect angle to view someone's cock when seated at the desk. He also had some lube on the table. I jokingly ask him what was all that about. He got a little embarrassed but told me that he went onto porn chat sites where you could view people masturbating or fucking and you could reciprocate by giving them permission to view you too. It took me aback but I was quite interested and insisted he show the website to me. He was hesitant at first, but relented after I promised not to tell anyone. He was logged into a chat room where there was a live feed of a woman, from her boobs and below, sitting on a chair completely naked with her legs spread wide, touching herself. I asked Adam how it worked and he said he sent messages to the woman and she would respond back.He typed,. No call. Clearly, something was going on but I had no idea what.I heard nothing on Wednesday. It was like he had disappeared from the face of the earth. For a very brief moment I considered calling the FBI until I realized how completely ridiculous that would be.The ache of not knowing where he was, of just not being with him, was overwhelming. Was this the price of love or infatuation or whatever it was? I wasn't sure I was willing to pay it.On the other hand, how do I avoid paying it? How do I stop feeling the need to be with him? How do I give up the excitement of anticipating that I'm going to be with him?The steps I had taken to get into this situation had been voluntary, but now that I was here, it didn't seem voluntary at all. We weren't exactly at the point where I could say I had a life with him, but the thought of a life without him was too painful to contemplate.Finals would be starting next week and I had no more classes. The best thing I could do to maximize my studying.
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