The washing machine broke down and the repairman told me it couldn't be fixed. It only cost me $75 for him to come to my home and tell me that. I went over to Sears to get a new one and was told my card was at its limit. The transmission in my wife's car is acting up. I checked the dipstick and the fluid smells burnt. I give it a week until the pump goes out or the converter comes apart. God knows what I'll do then. If all that ain't enough my wife of twelve years has decided that she needs to lose weight. After trying several diets to no effect she found some diet pills that seem to work for her. She has an exercise bike in the living room and she practically lives on the goddamn thing. You ever try to watch football with the whir whir of one of them things going on in the background? Wanda is losing weight, but the side effects of those pills are that she has lost all interest in sex. Like I said life is giving me nothing but shit.I'm not used to going without sex. Me and Wanda. I cast my eyes to the floor. Of course I wanted to please her. She was so perfect. But I didn't want to have photos of me jerking it get out on the internet. It was as though she read my mind. "Don't worry jerky boy. We'll keep the photos our little secret as long as you behave." I sat contemplating.Suddenly I saw that mean look on Miss Pamela's face again. "Look idiot, you don't have a choice. Crawl your ass to the bathroom, get some toilet paper and come back within 20 seconds. If you don't get back, we'll be repeating this exercise in front of five of Alison's best friends. Onnnne...two...three.?I scampered to the bathroom, half in dread, half more excited than I'd ever been in my life. I yanked off as much toilet paper as I could and scampered back in front of the women just before Miss Pamela reached 20."Give me the tissue," Pamela ordered. I handed her the tissue."Beg us for permission to jerk your penis, you idiot!" Miss Pamela shouted with a measure of.
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