* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 21, and her name's Kathy.* Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 24 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."* My. She secretly cried herself to sleep at night.Troy knew that he was being used and he didn’t like that at all. After all, his father had never let his mother tell him what to do.Beverly wouldn’t let him stop fucking her. She would suck him and then fuck him. He finally knew what it was like to have the shoe on the other foot. He couldn’t wait to get rid of her.Sunday was not any different. He woke up with his cock in her pussy. She was on top of him fucking away. Before he could pull out onto the highway she made him fuck her in the backseat of his car.Then when he tried to drop her off she made him go inside and fuck her in her own bed.On his way out the door Beverly said, “Troy, I know that you are only fifteen years old. I’m on the committee and I’m telling you that you are no longer allowed to participate in our speed dating. However, if you want to come by sometime, I’ll let you fuck me. Bring your younger brothers too.”Of course Troy would not be coming by and he certainly would.
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