Your hair looks good. You're doing a goodjob with the curling iron. Nice clothes, too. Very uptown." See. I told you so. Girls look at other girls, too. We just size themup and see what we can steal from their look to make us prettier." Mindywas pretty excited about the mall trip.Brian felt strangely flat. He guessed it was because his body waswithdrawing from the low dose estrogen. "I don't know, Mindy. I'm notfeeling so hot. Ever since I stopped the treatments, I've felt irritableand miserable like I'm getting a flue."Mindy opened her purse. She rummaged around until she came up with avial. She opened it and put a pill in the palm of her hand. "Here, dryswallow this. It's going to make you feel better."Brian swallowed it. He smiled. "What was it?" A birth control pill."Brian shook his head. "I don't get it. How's a birth control pill goingto make me feel better?" Silly. It's simple. Birth control pills are full of estrogen. You'recrashing from withdrawal. Step by painful step I climbed the stairs, approaching Emma’s bedroom at the top of the landing, its door wide open, a flimsy and flickering light of a candle pouring out into the hall. She must have had her shutters drawn or I would have noticed the light when I was standing outside the house. As I got closer to the bedroom, the words began taking shapes and every once in a while I would clearly hear what they were saying, or rather gasping. She said: … Peter (my father’s name)… darling (I felt like someone punched me in the stomach)…hurting me…oh yes…oh no…please, faster…He said: …my little tart…tight cunny…fuck uncle Peter (the feeling of nausea hit me hard this time)…that’s it…that’s it…fuck your uncle Peter, sweetheart… I stood still for what seemed like forever. Finally, I managed to gather enough courage and strength – by now, my legs were dangerously wobbly – and crept the last few stairs up, kneeling on the floor and ever so carefully looked around the corner into Emma’s.
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