These emotions make me want to break free — to leave this life in search of another for nothing I or anyone else does makes me feel truly happy and conflict free. To fill the gap I harbour in my soul seems pointless — neither family member nor any person on this earth can change the way I am. Death seems to be my only solution- my only escape and yet fate has not allowed me to leave this place and, I haven't the courage to do so myself. Invisibility would be a gift and yet the only thing I wish for lies within the bounds of impossibility.I want to disappear from the life I live and find another, I want to leave all those I know forever. I know myself better than any other and I know that I lack the capacity for truly endearing emotions. I love pain and danger yet I feel incapable of love and innocence. My life is a shadow of anger — I'm drowning in rage and disgust for myself. My entire being is an imposition.Water: an undeniably relaxing element. When I feel it swish against me at. You’re the new VP/Creative Director of Regulus Advertising. If you play your cards right, all this,” he said, waving his hand about, “will be yours when I retire. I’ve already talked the Board about it…it’s a done deal.” The music started again and she shook her head to clear her thoughts and was suddenly aware of a loud group of young women seated at a table and they were having a good old time and feeling no pain. Well, they were all young save one, an older woman with jet-black hair that hung loosely down her back. She caught Sarah’s gaze and lifted her glass of white wine in mock salute. She was probably mid-forties, a bit heavier than she preferred them, full breasted and wearing clothes she probably pulled off the rack at K-Mart. But then she smiled and none of that mattered. One of the girls she was with leaned over and said something to her and then followed her gaze and saw me. Shit. Her. Sarah had picked her up in this very bar shortly after Ashley had taken off and they’d.
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