I'm her husband by some happy twist of fate, for which I daily offer prayers of thanksgiving. We talked at length."Of course you love your mother, Cindy," I said. "It's natural. Woven into our beings." I said I forgave her. Why don't I believe her?" Forgiveness doesn't necessarily obligate you to believe." Hope?" Of course we hope, little one," I said, holding my Cindy close, kissing her gently because sometimes she just seems so fragile, almost ethereal. "I know you've prayed for your mom many times. Accept this as part of the answer. It may not be all of it." What do you mean, my love," she asked."Baby, we hope for the best but plan for the worst in all that we do. The worst? This, right now, clean, happy Donna, your mom, this is what you get. For now. Worst case, she backslides. But you HAD, for a shining moment, you HAD your mom. Best case? She takes what she is now, steps up on the ladder, and is around for decades to see HER daughter the way WE see her daughter and we all get. He too, towering over her, was looking in my direction, but whereas he was staring blankly at their reflection in the window of the train, she had dipped her head and half-closed her eyes and anyone not in my position would have thought she was looking at nothing at all. But from where I sat I could see that under those almost-closed eyelids there were two piercing blue eyes drinking me in. When she saw me looking back at her she glanced away for a second as if embarrassed but she then returned her eyes to me and met my gaze squarely. When I smiled slightly she smiled back. The signs were tiny but I had been through this too often not to recognise them. The girl was primed. I looked her up and down. Now that I could see her from the front I realised she was very young. Being small and dainty, she was not my usual type, but in her own way she was perfect. Behind her loomed her boyfriend, a few years older, also very blond but not remotely dainty, apart from his height, he was broad.
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