Hannah already somehow managed to make you feel guilty if you didn’t enthusiastically say ‘yes!’ to all of her suggestions right away.Still, being so mature with full 29 years under my belt and having been subjected to my cousin’s (and aunt’s) psychological warfare for decades already, I had stood my ground for quite some time. Five weeks, to be exact.“But it’s going to be so much fun, Peepee!” Hannah had repeated over and over until the most offensive word in the sentence wasn’t the nickname-atrocity she had made of my real name (Piper), but the word ‘fun’.We were spending a day and a night in a goddamn cave. Under a mountain. Like the dwarves in Moria, and we all know how that ended, didn’t we?We cannot get out. We cannot get out. We hear drums, drums in the deep. They are coming…. through the main entrance because there’s no emergency exit in this cave.Fun. So. Much. Fun.I mean, yes, the "Party Cave" was furnished and stocked, equipped with all the necessary amenities because it. Hope to stay that way too. Tell her she's dead if she ruins my birthday!I'll kill her if she ruins your b-day! We may be later than 8 pm. Order your pizza and enjoy yourself. No one over. Sorry, not fair on your b-day, but oh well.Yea yea. Story of my life. Tell Kaylee feel better.Will text you when we leave, she wrote. Behave.He behaved, though he thoroughly scrubbed the dildos with hot soapy water in the kitchen sink, and then boiled them in a kettle for good measure. He wasn't sure about doing that, but the dildos didn't seem to mind. It certainly put his mind at ease, knowing they were completely sanitized.Was the stuff in the bags really weed, he wondered? What had possessed someone to chuck out four grams of weed? The dildos were probably a clue (or maybe the other way around, he thought), but regardless, he had enough to roll twelve joints. What would he do with twelve joints of weed with no one to smoke it with?Why couldn't he be popular? David was pretty much his only close.
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