”“Am I as cruel—grausam—as the prince?”“Nein, aber du bist grausam genug—No, but you are cruel enough.”“You don’t want me to be cruel?”“Vielleicht ein bisschen grausam. Du bist ein Meister der Fick—Maybe a little cruel. You are a master of the fuck. Do you untie me now, or do we fuck again?”“You want me to fuck you again?”“Ja, naturlich—Yes, naturally.”“And do you want me to be cruel to you again?”“Ein bisschen—a bit.”“No, I don’t untie you now. That and the rough part were all to set the scene for the drawing. You agreed to model. You agreed to the sex.” I put a hand on his right leg and lowered it to where it was flat on the bed. He started to move the other one too. “No, don’t move. Stay in whatever pose I put you in. I’m going to draw you now. See, like the other drawings on the wall around the bed. Your experience will be immortalized.”“You were cruel to them too,” he said.“Yes, yes I was,” I said.“That one there. Over there. You did not—?”“He was fine,” I answered. “You will be. She rarely acts that way when I bring a girlhome." She's a lovely woman Bill, you're very lucky to have her." No Paula, I'm lucky to have you."Each time he spoke, every word seemed to make me tingle all over, but Iknew that he had heard what Fred and Dick had said, that I was a boy ina dress, and that confused me so much, making me so edgy that Billnoticed, and asked me about it. I did not want to tell him the truth,but he earned it, and I simply couldn't lie to him any more. He pulledinto the lakeside park, stopped the car, and we got out. He held meclose, kissed me, but I broke away. I had to tell him, and there wasn'tany easy way. We were about five feet apart when I turned to face him,the tears I had running down my cheeks were not of shame, but dismay."Bill," I said, "I have something to tell you. Fred was right. I'mnot...I can't..." With a sob in my voice, "I'm not a real girl! This isall fake! Just silicone padding and makeup!" Moving back a little, "Youdon't have to take me.
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