Weak in her legs she faltered upon her bed, trembling.Oh, my God! For how long has poor Sverker been abandoned in the cellar? Is he still alive?Ylva could no longer remain here, sitting on the bed. She needed to get out, to return home, to recompence. But nothing of her belongings had been possible to salvage from the wrecked car. Her handbag with keys, wallet and money was destroyed.The most obvious thing to do was of course to write a note and hand it over to the police. Ylva however realized that the consequences of that would be rather uncomfortable, not only for her but also for Sverker if he still was alive. No, she could not make it, she had to find a solution by herself.With a head aching from her strained efforts to remember some to whom she could entrust and who could assist her to got answers. Alas, why, why had she not listened to all advices to let someone know when Sverker visited her? Ylva would never forgive herself if she had lost him.Like a spark of electricity the. I learned to take careof myself. I really was never happy with myself and it is hard toexplain. I identified with girls much better. My mother would alwayscatch me in my younger sisters dresses and by seven, it was damn nearimpossible to stop it. They didn't try and accepted it; they thought itwas childish playing until I was seven.Mother sat me down and talked about it. We made a deal, I would dresshowever I damn well like in the house and at times, I could go outsideas my sister. Mother and me would go shopping and other mother/daughterstuff. She asked what name to call me when dressed. I told her that Iliked Kendra. She told me that it was a nice name. We would go eat atfancy restaurants and pretend to be my sister while she would stayhome. Sister and I had a wonderful relationship, like really closesisters. She would help me out a lot; teach me stuff that girls shouldknow.Years passed and by ten, I had another fancy, I wanted to play as themaid. I harped and bugged the shit out.
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