In my mid-30s, I lost my faith in God. I still wanted desperately to believe in a higher power, a kind and benevolent father who would look out for his children and ensure lives were meaningful. I couldn't bring myself to hold that belief when I witnessed the tragedies and struggles I'd seen around me. Being on the 'inside' didn't help, the hidden truths and carefully concealed secrets were always bubbling just below the surface of what the public could see. For a time, I considered leaving my position, but instead I decided to use my role to help where I could, and reduce the suffering of those in need.The Catholic Church, despite its deceptive aura of piety and wisdom, is a hotbed of gossip and rumor about sexuality. I and many others often discussed sexual confessions we'd received, and I knew of several priests who had lovers, enjoyed prostitutes, or otherwise broke their vows of celibacy. There were, as you can imagine, many rumors about priests taking advantage of young boys,. He was an ex G.I. who knew how hard it was when you first get out trying to make it in civilian life. He had a solution. I had to do three weekends of training and even received a couple of bucks for the time. He made me a neighborhood watch reserve police officer. The piece made a difference in how secure I felt, when I had to go out, I put the piece in my belt at the back of my pants and felt a hell of lot more comfortable.While I was at school, my kids stayed with an older lady next door that kept five or six little ones while their parents worked or whatever. Mrs. Williams was always helping me out, fixing me something special for a snack, always doting over my babies. Matty Williams was pretty good with hair clippers and kept my head trimmed. She was pretty good at cutting a flat-top too. She had a couple of young teenaged grandkids living with her that were trying to stay out of the bad groups at the complex. I became the tutor for helping with math or their other homework. Her.
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