I started to realise that seeing some of my class mates in the changing rooms after PE made me very sexually aroused. I was terrified and excited in almost equal measure. Terrified that the other girls would find out and I'd be seen as different or weird or an outsider. Consequently my ogling of their bodies became something which I only did with the greatest of caution and always surreptitiously. At the same time as realising my attraction to women, I also discovered the joys of masturbation and found my arousal and desire (I didn’t know or understand horny then) was greatly increased with the pleasure I found in masturbation. I suppose I could argue that my masturbatory fantasies around some of my class mates were my first experience with another girl. But in reality my first physical experience with another girl didn't occur until I was just sixteen years old. I used to be a very keen swimmer and used the local swimming baths at least once a week, frequently more often. There. You are your own worst enemy.At twenty, you get past the conflict. Those women in the magazine are now younger than your bhatiji, and you’ve come to accept that your bhatiji is a woman in her own right. She has her own life; her own interests, her own destiny ahead of her that she has to follow without you. You are now there for support as she finds herself, and tries to carve out her own little niche in life. You’ve come to accept your personal demons and fight to remain the “Chacha” more than the “man”. Things go well until the day you get online, and find out that your “little girl” has a sex drive of her own. You sit down with a cold beer in hand, alone because they’ve gone shopping. You open up your browser, and type in WWW., and the auto fill function pops up a link to a porn site that you’ve never heard of. You type in the next letter of the site, and see the drop down box filled with entry after entry of pages that your bhatiji has been looking at. She is a grown woman. Of.
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