I knew Maria wasdead, I had held her in my arms as she died, but I couldn't believeDanny was dead.Finally the lawyer left, and they took me back to the room with thebed in it. I lay there for hours, crying softly. I knew tough guysdidn't cry, but Danny had been the tough guy, not me.Late in the afternoon the social worker came in and asked me if Iwanted to see my Dad and I said yes.About an hour later I was taken back to the interview room (I knewwhat it was called now) and a few minutes later Dad came in. He walkedin with the social worker and a guy in some kind of gray uniform. Istood up. I could see straight away that Dad was pissed with me, eventhough he seemed sober. Probably, I thought at the time, it wasbecause he'd been called away from work. He walked straight up to meand hit me in the face. Blam! Right in the nose. "Fucking pervert!" hescreamed at me. Then he hit me again, in the side of the head and thechest, and after I fell to the floor he started kicking me until theguy. Sure I could and would stay with Marissa, but then I could be assigned duty that took me away from the women, including Marissa, whom I love. That by the way is not a hypothetical. The most likely assignment I would receive would be as a combat marine if I should achieve a CAP score of 6.5. So what should I do? Should I continue to be content as a concubine and slave but safe. Or should I work hard and become a combat soldier, putting myself in danger and possibly abandoning my beloved family?It is a hard dilemma let me tell you. I know that we must face the Sa'arm, I know we must fight the Sa'arm. But for now I have seen very little to tell me that we are even killing one in a million of them. That means that we need to think of more efficient ways of killing them. I've suggested that we should breed rats to explore and map the Sa'arm warrens. Also we should see if there is some sort of pathogen that rats could carry to the Sa'arm. Now I have to research and write a paper expanding.
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