They made me change my style, I joined gym to loosed weight, I was not allowed to wear inners. Most often when Mihir used to come to take my daughters tuition in her room the other two would take my tuition. It became a regular affair, only on weekends when my husband used to be a home I used to get rest.One day I received a call that my sister’s son was going through the town and will pay a visit to me. He came to my home at about 3 in the afternoon, my sister lived in pune which was about 14 hours by road from my home. I hugged him tight he had out grown. He was 26 yrs only 7 years younger to me. We had a long chat and then he said he needs to leave for pune. At that my sister called him and we started talking. It had been a year I had met my sister, so she told me to come with him to pune. I too wanted a break from these boys who would ravaged me everyday so I agreed. I told him to wait and packed my stuffs. I took all the new clothes I had bought because I wanted to look young. I only hoped that it would get better when I got my own clothes. And yet something about that scared me immensely, perhaps just the thought of doing something so drastic as to have to change my entire wardrobe, my entire image. I thought of how I saw myself and when I tried to picture myself in my head, I couldn't do it. I could look down at myself and see a couple of awkward bumps and curves under a heap of cotton, but when I tried to picture my face in the mirror, I drew a blank. All I could think of was my sister's face, or a blur of a feminine face dabbled with purple.I felt sad, knowing that I had lost a part of me and knew that I would once more have to find myself. Or perhaps I had never found myself and was simply starting the search over again. I thought about how others might see me. A quiet, lonely little girl whose only fault was being introverted and all too feminine. Or how boys might see me and clash of tits and ass. I shuddered at the thought of a boy looking at me.
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