I’d totally forgotten that part of the conversation. How could I have been so stupid? Yeah, for sure, a vanity plate would be a potential security breach. I apologized for being quite so dumb. She smiled; “Now, I DO appreciate the sentiment, so, if you were thinking some kind of completely-over-the-top gold or platinum vanity bar brooch with those letters picked out in diamonds or rubies, nice big ones, then yes, I’d absolutely love it.”She giggled almost uncontrollably at my expression of horror, telling me that I’d sure walked straight into that elephant trap, and that ordinary regular-sized diamonds spelling out the letters would be just fine. As long as they were set in at least 18-karat gold, preferably 22 or 24. Nothing cheap or tacky.Okaaay. Riiiigghht.Maybe I’d better buy myself a lottery ticket or two.Next morning, I reported the conversation back to Helga; she laughed and smirked as I described my discomfiture. “I’m sure Peter Marco or Harry Winston on Rodeo Drive will be. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer.The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home... I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.Okay, so I was home alone with.
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