However, despite my best intentions, I again found myself putting back onmy bra, my petticoat, my panties and my fishnet pantyhose before coveringit up with my new tee shirt and trousers.I wanted to stop there. It looked a bit masculine despite the visiblepanty line and bra straps. Maybe I should have bought looser jeans?I wanted put on my trainers but I found myself self putting my hosieryencased feet back in my knee length leather boots with a stiletto heel. Itdidn't feel right to put such beautiful hosiery in trainers.Could I stop there? No. I was still a Goth even if I was trying to forcemyself to undergo a sex change so I obviously couldn't bring myself to goout without my false eyelashes and makeup!So I looked kind of androgynous, but definitely more female than male, as Iintroduced myself to people as Julian, with only my Marilyn Manson teeshirt and voice hinting that I am male.I looked up how to lose your man boobs on the internet and started workingout.I made friends. .
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