”“Well, Matt, if you get tired of Lynn here, feel free to send her my way.”Oliver bent down and kissed my cheek before walking off.“I do not fucking believe that.”“I tried telling you, Lynn. You are one hot chick. Half the men in this place would dump their date for a chance to take you home.”“That’s only because they don’t know what I really am.”We had a lovely dinner and I continued to drink way more than I should have. This whole scene had blown my mind so much I didn’t know what else to do. A few other men stopped to talk to us. They invariably seemed to pay inordinate attention to me, when they stopped to talk to Matt. We finished dinner and I thought Matt would take me back to my place.“Lynn, honey, it’s still early, why don’t we go dancing?”“Are you sure about that?”“You’re taking a walk on the wild side, just take a bit longer walk.”Matt wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer and drove us to the hottest club in town. This was the sort of place that would never let the likes of me. Like it or not, I was being educated in the realities of sex, and I still enjoy the embarrassment and shame and humiliation of being a life-long wanker in middle-age who knew nothing about sex. Back in the 90s, I remember seeing girls so skimpy-dressed walking down the high-street as I got my perv pleasure under my rainmac, and being worried that, dressed like that, weren’t they going to attract unwanted attention? I mean, I knew about men and how normal men wanted to get their hands on girls and do things. If girls went clubbing showing so much, how were they going to avoid that? Of course I know nothing about what girls think, which I guess is pretty obvious! Meeting Miss Melanie meant my ‘girl-worship’ was out of the closet for the first time in my life, even though I was already in my 40s by then. For the first time a girl knew what a wanker I was, saw my dirty magazines and what I did to them, saw the state of my wank-trousers, let me see Her show while I stood there in my dirty.
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