Few people caught the reference to the book these days, and those who did usually had a witty comment or two about Ahab and the whale."They did and enjoyed it a bit too much," I said with a grimace. "The next Moby Dick joke I hear, I'm going to harpoon something."She giggled and her eyes danced. "Well Ishmael, what brings you to O'Bannion's tonight?" I was looking for a girl for the night." I said. "I get tired of sleeping alone all the time."I have no idea why I said all that.The waitress arrived with the coffee and sandwiches. I paid her and tipped her well.After the waitress was gone, I watched the girl eat daintily but ravenously, as if she hadn't eaten in a long time."You really don't look like you belong here with the others." I said suddenly.And it was true that she didn't look like the usual street girl.Her brown hair was relatively long and well cared for, if a bit mussed at the moment. Her skin was clear and showed only a hint of tan. And her green eyes were clear and free. I'll always remember that mum was so gentle and understanding with me thatnight. When she had finally been able to settle me down, she told me howproud she was of me. I looked questioningly at her and she replied that shewas proud because I hadn't been mean, that I had been brave enough to seekout what I felt I wanted and because I felt confident enough to tell herabout it straight away. We hugged and mum hustled me off to bed and thenleft.I had so many questions swimming about in my head after she left and I foundthat I couldn't sleep. I had to sort this mess out in my own head first.That night I wrote about ten pages in my diary, describing what Melanie andI got up to and what I was feeling before, during and after. Over the nextweek or so I rationalised that it wasn't my fault and I confirmed that I hadreally enjoyed the experience with Melanie. I wrote that I felt that I wasindeed a lesbian. It all went into the diary on my computer, including allof the questions that arose from.
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