I stole awaysome of her less "important" makeup one day and tried it all out. I keptpoking myself in the eye with the eyeliner, and mascara was trickybecause I didn't want a member of my family to return home and notice. Iwas good with lipstick and eyeshadow though, so when I would get dressedup, I would stick with that. After a certain point, I decided to try theunderwear. I was a little apprehensive at first because I thought mysister would notice that her bras and undies were misplaced. However, Idid it anyways, kind of excited about the possibility of her findingout. My favorite pair of undies were pink with a cute bow on the front.I like these because they were bigger and concealed my manhood better.The bras were trickier, but I was able to get them on with no problem.In the middle of 9th grade I evaluated my situation and realized what Iwas doing. I started brooding over my choices and was ashamed of myself.I had even gone as far to make up a fake name for myself, Brittany. . )The afternoon of the third day I heard a very soft knocking on the door of my room.I had emerged from my hideaway the night before to sleep in my own bed, and was laying there under the covers feeling disgusted with myself and the world in general. I have to admit I'd started to think about what kind of uses I might be able to put my gift to. I'd also started referring to it (at least to myself) as my talent rather than gift. Gifts were supposed to be good things, fun and enjoyable (if you didn't include clothes you got from family at birthdays and Christmas). I hadn't been able to think of one fun thing I could do with my talent.The knocking on my door jarred me from my semi-awake state. It was too soft to be my Dad, Ivan or Granddad, so that left either Mom or Isabeau.Out of pure cussedness I decided to try and make a link with whoever was on the other side of the door. I tried to feel the heartbeat. And I couldn't do it. I was half relieved and half disappointed. Maybe a little.
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