Warum war meine Haut so empfindlich. Meine Finge tasteten ?ber meinenR?cken, soweit ich ihn erreichen konnte. Ich sp?rte samtig weiche Haut. Wiebei einem jungen M?dchen. Unbewusst wusste ich da schon, was passiert war.Aber mein Verstand wollte es einfach noch nicht wahr haben.So sa?en wir zwei da, in diesem dunklen Keller. Wenigstens waren wir nichtallein. Marias Kopf lag auf meinem Scho? und spendete mit Mut, so wie ich ihr wohleine irreale Sicherheit gab.Ich hatte lange jegliches Zeitgef?hl verloren. Den Hunger sp?rte ich nichtmehr. Nur noch Durst.Langsame und gleichm??ige Atemz?ge verrieten mir, das Maria inzwischeneingeschlafen war. Ich hingegen sa? da und versuchte die Gedanken in meinemKopf zu ordnen. War ich jetzt wirklich ein M?dchen? Wie konnte das nurpassieren? Nach einer ganzen Weile des Gr?belns beschloss ich, dass dasalles nur ein b?ser Traum sein m?sse. Ich schloss meine Augen und schliefein...Das knarren der T?re riss mich aus meinem leichten Schlaf. Kurz. Tilly was like that; she had ruled me. She was the brightest star in the firmament and I could not imagine the two of them getting on. Two alpha lionesses seldom become friends. I had decided to go comfortable. I don’t usually wear trousers but I have a pair in dark blue silk that are the only pair I’ve ever had that I really like and so, with a white silk blouse and black flats and my chestnut hair loose I had made an effort but not set out to show myself as available, if you get my drift? The truth is she was wonderful company. She was feminine with an edge. She had a wonderful sense of humour, laughed at herself, understood irony and was utterly self-confident. She was tactile too. Her hand would stroke my arm to emphasis a point or she’d touch me, on my knee or my shoulder or, once, my face, when I was speaking. Wednesday evening I called Lauren. When we had parted on Saturday evening she had said, ‘Call me.’ The kiss had been perfunctory, more than air, less than mouths. ‘I.
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