For the remainder of the day she acted as if she hadn’t seen a thing, even though I could tell by her smirk that she was loving it I was sort of disturbed by her lack of reaction. On a normal day she would have joined in or given me some help, but not today and I found out why the next day.After Sarah had left I received a message from her telling me to look under the middle couch cushion. At this point I was getting a bit twitchy because of her smirk from last night. Under the cushion I found a usb jump drive, so naturally I grabbed the laptop and plugged it in. the only things on it were a file that said second and a word document that said “read this first”. When I opened the document all she had written was “enjoy but don’t do anything until I get home or tomorrow it will be worse” and then I realized what she was doing.It was all one massive tease because in the file I found all the photos she had taken plus some new ones and a video she must have made in the shower the night. “I should've done..” “Why was I so..” “No wonder she doesn't..” Those thoughts are toxic and seizes up your body.When you're in love with someone who doesn't love you back, you get so ******* close to hating them. You hate that they've ripped you open, eaten you up and have left you to decay. You hate that they have let you hate yourself more than you could ever hate them. You hate them because of the things they gave you which weren't all good. And the things they stole. Like crying on their shoulders which they gave, but your pride they took.When you're in love with someone for the first time and they don't love you back, you never want to fall in love again. You never want attachments with anyone because of this substantial pain that is constantly there. You never want to kiss with love, talk with love, witness love. You never want love unless, it's that one person you love. That's the only thing that matters. Love had a horrible reputation, it's either make it or ******* break.
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