The who called herself Heather was outgoing, loud, and a typical party girl, the other one who called herself Tammy was more reserved and quiet. I found out later that neither one used their real names, but it didn't really matter. So anyways, it was close to 3am, and I had just returned from the bathroom with my friends Claudia and Emily, when we find Tammy alone at our table, halfway up passing out. We tried to ask where her friend went, and she literally had no idea. We texted her from her phone, and were told that she found something to do and would be back in the room later. The next problem was, Tammy couldn't remember what hotel they were in, and couldn't find her room key. Claudia and Emily really didn't want a stranger in their room, and because I was sober, told them I would take her back to my place to let her sleep it off. She was passed out before we hit Sunset, and when I stopped for coffee and a bagel, she never even woke up. The drive to my house took almost a half. I shun my family for giving me the memories that have formed me into the person that I have become. I wonder what happened to the woman that use to be vivacious. She is a rare visitor, or maybe I just imagined her. Maybe she only exists in my mind. Because the only person I see theses is world-weary and raw. I don’t care for her much. Even now as I write, I beg myself to stop, because if I don’t, I am forced to think of all I am loosing, all the precious time I have already lost. All the pain that I have kept safely harbored inside my heart. I can feel it swelling up inside me now wanting to push past the barriers I have built up, I can’t bare to feel the storms waves crashing over me. Every moment of my days, every breath I breathe is consumed of what I don’t possess. I don’t desire fancy cars, a huge bank account, the perfect home, but then I guess I am no different from the next. I simple want what I do not have. I want love. I want to be cherished. People marry to be together, to.
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